


Colour of Fate

by LdyBastet



Category: Jrock, the GazettE
Genre: M/M, Oral Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-14 00:19:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2170812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LdyBastet/pseuds/LdyBastet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you get a second chance at a relationship...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colour of Fate

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with the GazettE or PSC, and have no knowledge of what is actually going on in their lives. All I know is what they share in interviews and on Twitter. This is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to real people and events is purely coincidental. No disrespect is intended and I earn no money from this.

_A sword glinted in the moonlight, it was his own, but there were others too, a blur of motion, then a sound of metal against metal and vibrations that travelled through steel into his hands... Suddenly, a face came into his vision, and with it, a nasty sneer and eyes cold as death. There was a sharp burn across his stomach that soon flared up into a terrifying pain as his legs gave out._

_A voice called out for him. It wasn't his name, but somehow he just knew that it was meant for him, that it was his name anyway... His vision began to blur, but he could see that someone was desperately trying to fight his way towards him. It was impossible though, and he knew it even as the age grew darker. They were too many, and the swords too sharp, too fast, and it was too late..._

 

Ruki woke up with a gasp, eyes darting around to take in his surroundings. What the hell had he just dreamt? Had he just died in his dream? And who the hell had that other person been? He'd looked familiar, but Ruki hadn't really seen his face... The more Ruki tried to remember the details, the further they slipped away. As he managed to grasp at one image, he could feel a dozen others fade away from his memory, and he had to give up. It had felt important, but in the end, he was left with nothing.

With a sigh, he flung the worn blankets off and braved the cold of his apartment. The hell-hole he lived in was small and run-down, the icy winter air not even having to creep in as the gaps in the windows and the cracks in the walls gave ample room for a grand entrance.

"Fuck this shit," Ruki rasped to himself and hurried into the toilet to have a much needed morning piss. The toilet was of the old-fashioned squatting type, and the apartment didn't have a bath. He sighed and washed his hands in the kitchen sink. At least he had running water. He brushed his teeth and then looked inside the fridge.

Orange juice. And a leftover rice ball from the pack of three he'd bought the previous day. It would do as breakfast. Or maybe he'd have tea instead of juice? He really needed to get warm.

Ruki shrugged. It was the price he paid for following his dream. And today was going to be a good day, he knew it. A turning point. And they really needed one, after Yune had just dropped the bomb on them at that live that he was leaving. Abandoning them. Fucker hadn't even managed to find a good replacement before he left. Ruki frowned and bit into the rice ball. Good thing Ruki had run into someone a while back then, and they'd swapped phone numbers. 

Ruki didn't really know why he'd decided that Kai was going to be their drummer. He didn't actually know if the guy could play their songs, after all. But today he was going to introduce Kai to the band as their new drummer, and they'd practice hard. They had a live the next day, and they couldn't back out. If they did, that was the end of the band. No one would give a second chance to a band who cancelled.

Fucking music scene. More like a battle field, bands competing for attention and fans. Still. It was going to be worth it. Ruki would show everyone who'd put him down and told him to stop dreaming, stop trying. 

 

Kai arrived shortly after Ruki – on the hour. The knock on the door was soft, a little careful, but the smile on Kai's face as Ruki let him in was anything but careful. It was wide, sunny, happy. The kind of smile you really needed sunglasses on to deal with. Ruki invited him inside, and as Kai walked past him, Ruki noticed something strange. There was this shimmer of red between them, like a thin beam of light... Weird. But probably just a trick of the light. 

"Okay, guys. This is Kai. He's our new drummer."

"He is?" Uruha said, looking up from his guitar. "Okay. Hi."

Kai bowed and gave him a little wave. "I hope we can work well together!"

"Yeah yeah..." Aoi drawled and looked Kai over, not looking too impressed. "You know him?" he asked Ruki.

"Yes. He's cool, okay?" He turned back to Kai, ignoring Reita's muttering about them not even having heard Kai play yet. "So, let's listen to our songs so you can hear them and learn them... We have a gig tomorrow night." He handed Kai a few CDs, proud that they actually had released a few singles.

Kai stared at him, looking a little nervous. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that's why we really need you. Can't play a live without a drummer."

"What's the matter, new guy? Can't handle it?" Reita asked with a challenging grin.

"Of course I can. I'll do my best!" Kai reassured them and smiled again. "I've heard your songs already. I've been to a live... that's why I wanted to join you."

Reita, Uruha, and Aoi looked at each other, then shrugged. "Okay," Uruha said, smiling at Kai. "Let's get to work then."

They practised, mostly ploughing through the songs in the usual way they played them, letting Kai try to find his place in the music. Ruki looked at him sometimes, usually when Kai had to stop them and ask about something with that huge smile of his. The red line was still there, even though the place had no windows, no mirrors that could give reflections, and it seemed to not matter from what angle Ruki saw it... He rubbed his eyes. Maybe he'd been wearing those freaky contacts too much lately?

**

Ruki heard Kai faltering and lose his way, and then the bass stopped and the guitars screeched to a strange halt. The audience gave out a surprised "eeeeh?" as Ruki looked behind him, at Kai.

He could barely make Kai out behind the drums, head lowered in shame and shoulders slumping. Ruki looked back at the small crowd and pointed his thumb at the drums. "Forgive him, okay? It's his first day with the band... He joined us yesterday!"

The crowd cheered, and someone shouted encouragement at Kai, telling him to work hard. Ruki grinned and led them in to the next song. The show must go on, right?

Backstage, when the live was over, Kai dropped to his knees in front of them, bowing low. "I'm terribly sorry!" he said. "I will work harder and make sure it never happens again, if you'll only give me another chance!"

Ruki looked at the others, more in surprise than to actually see what they had to say. Aoi looked a little shocked, and Uruha was just smiling. Reita gestured at Ruki to get on with it. Clearly, none of them knew what to say. "Hey, it's okay," Ruki said, feeling a little embarrassed that Kai was lowering himself before them. "We won't kick you out over this. We put a heavy burden on your shoulders, making you learn so many songs in just one day."

"I practised all night," Kai said, looking up at Ruki with a look of hope in his eyes. "I'll do better next time!"

"Come on," Uruha said then, and pulled Kai to his feet. "Let's get our stuff and go out to eat, okay?"

"And drink!" Aoi added with a grin. "We have to celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Kai asked, wiping the sweat from his face on a towel.

"Ruki's birthday, and that we have a new drummer!"

Kai smiled at that, and Ruki felt relieved that the others had accepted Kai into their little group. It wasn't like the rest of them were always perfect either, right?

**

The next live went better, and the next after that... And before long, they were recording new music. At one of their attempts at meetings, the question of leadership and responsibility came up. There had been some questions from PSC about equipment, talk about payments vs costs, schedules for lives and studio time and a million other things, and Ruki felt overwhelmed with it all.

"It's okay," Kai said, and the smile on his face was reassuring. "I'll take care of it. It's not so bad, I think. We just need to be better organised."

Ruki looked at the others. There was Aoi, who preferred to spend his time in bars during the nights and sleep during the day, and who always complained about rehearsals. Then there was Reita, who was happiest when he could just play the bass and ride his motorcycle. Ruki moved his gaze over to Uruha and sighed. Uruha, the man who seemed to live in his own universe, where time flowed in a different way... It would be easier to train a herd of cats than to get these people organised, Ruki thought.

He didn't say anything about that, though. "Are you sure?" was all he said instead, hoping that Kai wouldn't back out now.

Kai nodded. "Someone has to be the leader, right? And if no one else wants to do it, I will."

Ruki felt relieved. Somehow he just knew that he could rely on Kai, that Kai would have their backs if something happened, and that he was much better suited to talk to the people at the office.

"So, first, the equipment issue," Kai said and reached for a paper to make some notes. "Aoi feels he needs a new amp, because the one he has is old and worn and not good enough?" He looked at Aoi to confirm he'd understood the situation.

"It sounds bad!" Aoi whined. "It was old and used when I bought it and after that guy almost dropped it before the last live, it just doesn't sound as it should!" He leaned back in his chair with a pout. "I can't afford a new one on my own."

"You would if you didn't spend all your money at the bar," Reita teased.

Aoi crossed his arms. "A man has to relax in some way! With all this talk about being discreet and not be seen with a girl in public, how am I supposed to get some? At least the brass don't complain when I'm seen with a beer."

Reita patted his shoulder. "I feel you, man."

Ruki looked at Kai, who looked back at him, and they both shook their heads, then smiled at each other. It seemed like everything was under control now. Somehow, Ruki knew they were in good hands.

**

The walls were spinning, or maybe it was just Ruki's head. He kind of wished he'd stuck to drinking orange juice, like he usually did, but dammit! They'd been celebrating the successful (if somewhat bittersweet) end of the tour, and everyone else had been drinking.

Ruki smiled as Kai helped him lie down on the bed, and tried to drag him down with him. "Stay." Ruki was drunk, but he wasn't completely out of it. Kai had nowhere else to go, right? Wouldn't be fair to force him to take a train to go home. Good thing Ruki had been able to move to a bigger apartment so he could have an actual bed. Then again, maybe it would have been safer with a futon, judging by how the bed seemed to be swaying...

"Will you be okay like this?" Kai asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed after disentangling himself from Ruki. 

"I'm horny," Ruki whined, rubbing his hand over his crotch. "Been horny for days now and nothing helps!"

"No wonder you're horny, the way you rub yourself on stage, and grope Uruha." Kai grinned.

Ruki pouted. It wasn't fair that Kai lay the blame on him! It wasn't his fault they'd been so busy there'd been no chance to find someone... 

Kai leaned over him, a strange look on his face. "I could... help you out, if you want?" he said quietly, and put one hand on Ruki's thigh. He moved it upwards when Ruki didn't protest. "If you don't mind..."

"Why would I mind?" Ruki asked breathlessly, the low-burning arousal that had frustrated him for three days now flaring up. Then he remembered that Kai hadn't been there from the beginning, hadn't been squished together with the others in a small car to find shelter from the elements and snatch some sleep after playing in a faraway town... Hadn't been there when they'd had sex with each other just to keep warm (and to find some comfort after a discouraging night at a live house with less than ten people in the audience). It hadn't been that bad since Kai joined them. Things had started to go right from that point; they even got to sleep in hotel rooms during tours these days. "I'd like that very much," Ruki added.

Kai smiled, and it was like sunshine breaking into the dark room. "Good," he whispered and started to move his fingers over Ruki's hardening cock, teasing it through the fabric.

It didn't take long before Ruki's trousers were open, pulled halfway down his legs along with his underwear, his shirt pushed up to his armpits, and one of Kai's hands was stroking Ruki's cock. Ruki moaned and squirmed slightly, hands touching whatever part of Kai they could reach. 

Ruki didn't know if it was because he was drunk, or if Kai was especially talented, but it felt so good - even better than he'd hoped. Kai's hands felt perfect on him, and when Kai leaned down to lick and tease one of his nipples, Ruki couldn't hold back his moans any longer.

"God, yes," Kai mumbled against his skin. "Moan for me..." He moved to give the other nipple the same treatment, driving Ruki crazy with arousal. 

"Please," Ruki whispered, "don't stop."

Kai raised his head and smiled at Ruki. "I'm not. Not until you come." He pressed his lips to Ruki's - a soft kiss at first that got hotter and more needy as they explored each other's mouths. All through the kiss, Kai kept moving his hand, stroking Ruki slowly, and Ruki had to pull away a little, grabbing Kai's shoulders. 

"Kai... I need you," he whispered. "Please."

Kai nodded and moved downwards, leaving a trail of kisses on Ruki's chest and stomach, until he paused with his face just above Ruki's cock. Ruki held his breath as Kai lowered his face a little more and stuck his tongue out to lick the head. 

It was the most erotic thing Ruki could remember ever seeing, but then Kai stole the rest of his brain power by sliding Ruki's cock deep into his mouth. Ruki moaned, almost overwhelmed by the pleasure Kai gave him. He'd needed this for so long, and somehow Kai seemed to know exactly what he liked the most. Kai had pulled out his own cock, and was stroking it while giving Ruki the best blowjob he'd had in a long time - and it only got better from seeing that Kai was enjoying it too.

Kai was using his hand on Ruki too, rolling his balls gently, then closing around the shaft to pump his fist as he sucked on only the head. Ruki couldn't take this treatment for long before he came, hips thrusting, a deep groan the only warning Kai got before his mouth was filled with come.

After a few shaky breaths, Ruki raised his head to look at Kai. "Hey... want me to suck you off?"

Kai just moved to straddle Ruki's hips and leaned down to kiss him, hand still moving over his cock. "Too fucking close," he whispered, sharing the lingering taste of Ruki's own come with him.

Ruki put his hand over Kai's, amazed to see how the strange red thread he'd seen so often between them got clearer, stronger. The red light shone and pulsed brighter and brighter as Kai moaned and his hand moved faster. With a gasp Kai almost fell forward as he came all over Ruki's stomach, then he smiled and took a deep breath to steady himself. 

"Oh wow..." Kai whispered. "I wish I'd offered to help you out a lot earlier."

Ruki grinned up at him. "Well, you can keep it up now."

"Mmm, I think I will." Kai moved off Ruki and looked for something to wipe the come off with. "It'll make touring easier..."

The next morning, Ruki woke up with a headache, but he didn't mind so much. Not when he saw who was sleeping next to him. But there was something different... The thread that Ruki had seen so often, even if it had only been very weak most of the time, was now completely gone, as if it had spent itself in the vivid display the previous night.

**

"... so that's how I joined the band," Kai told the interviewer with a laugh. "It's almost like I was a birthday present for Ruki."

There were many more questions in the interview, but Ruki couldn't really forget what Kai had said. When they left to get a bit to eat, he leaned close to Kai. "You weren't wrapped... and there was no bow," he whispered.

"Eh?"

"The present. What will I get this year?"

"Oh." Kai grinned. "Well, I think I can wrap a ribbon around myself."

"Mmm, does that mean I get to tie you up?" Ruki flashed him a mischievous smile.

There was a definite look of interest in Kai's eyes. "I wouldn't protest..."

 

_A figure stepped out before Ruki, dressed in a yukata that soon fell to the ground with a rustle. Ruki recognised him this time. It was the same person he'd seen in his nightmare so long ago, the person who'd tried to protect him. But this was not a dream of death and abandonment, he could feel it. He was relaxed, he was happy and content._

_The scene changed, and Ruki found himself sitting next to the man in a hot spring. Sunshine was filtering through the trees, and a few sakura petals fell from above, landing gracefully on the surface of the water._

The transition from sleep to wakefulness was almost seamless, so soft that when Ruki rolled over and looked at the man sleeping beside him, he had no trouble at all recognising him from his dreams. 

Ruki smiled softly. He remembered now. There was a reason he'd met Kai, after all, a reason why it was so important that Kai joined the band. There was no refusing the thread of Fate, was there, whether one could see it or not...


End file.
